#21: 快乐 / Happiness

你快乐吗？怎么样才算是快乐？

是每天都把笑容挂在脸上，亦或是做自己？
是在生活中追求每一个完美的细节，亦或是珍惜生活中每一个幸福的小片刻？

到底如何才能快乐，即使烦恼很多，即使人生里还是有不开心的时刻？

我想，我找到了答案。

自我接纳，就是我一直在学习的，也是我认为会带我走向快乐的秘诀。

或许我们不快乐，是因为我们不够爱自己，是我们接受不了自己的不完美，是我们不敢去正视自己的一些缺陷，是我们总是活得太累太疲倦，是我们总是太在乎别人而希望得到相等的回报，结果还是失落了。

有时候可能你真的觉得，无法做到“爱自己”，仿佛自爱是世界上最难的事。你恨透自己，你无法接受自己犯下了某个错误，或是你觉得自己不值得被爱。

有时候你会拿自己和别人来做比较，你觉得别人长得比你漂亮帅气，比你苗条，比你可爱，成绩比你优异，家庭比你富裕，你觉得自己总是比不上别人。你讨厌这样的你，你害怕这些不完美被别人拿来做比较，拿来开玩笑，你觉得自己不值得被欣赏。

有时候你会不想承认自己的确有些地方不够好，你不想去面对生活中的问题，所以你选择逃避，你觉得逃避是最好的方式，只有逃避才不会那么烦恼，你觉得这些问题不值得被正视。

有时候你真的非常非常累，你追求完美，你对自己特别的严厉，你希望把最好的都呈现给大家，你提醒自己不要让别人看见自己的脆弱，你把自己包装得完整无缺，你压抑自己的感受直到自己感到窒息，你真的好累，你觉得自己不值得被疼惜。

有时候你非常在乎别人是否过得开心，你希望你的存在可以给身边的人带来温暖，幸福，却往往忽略了自己开心与否，把自己的感受放到最后，才默默的希望得到别人同等的在乎与关心，你觉得自己再多的付出都不值得，因为别人不会像你关心他们一样的那么关心你。

亲爱的你们，要快乐，一定要勇敢。要勇敢的接受自己，接受自己的不完美，接受自己的每一个情绪和感受，接受自己给自己的爱，接受自己对自我的关心。只有当你真的学会自我接纳，你才会真的学会大大方方的接受别人对自己的疼惜与爱护。只有这样，你才会快乐。

活在当下，珍惜每个幸福的小事情。

其实我们每个人，都值得幸福，值得被爱。

希望你们每个人都可以找到，属于自己，快乐的方式。

给那些觉得自己不被爱不被在乎的人，我爱你们。

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Are you happy? How do you define happiness?

Does happiness mean that we have to always put the smile on our face, or to be who we are?
Does it mean that we have to pursue for perfection, or to appreciate every blissful moment in our life?

How can we find happiness, though there are some unhappy moments in our life?

I think, I have found the answer.

Self-acceptance, is what I am learning, and I think it will lead me to the path of happiness.

We are unhappy because we do not love ourselves, because we can't accept our imperfection, because we are so tired of life, and because we always care too much for others and hope to receive the same in return, and we felt so disappointed at the end.

Sometimes you might think that it's impossible to love yourself, and it seems like self-love is the most difficult task in this world. You hate yourself so much and you can't accept the fact that you have made any mistakes in life, and you think you are not worthy to be loved.

Sometimes you compare yourself with others, you think that others are prettier than you, cuter than you, their results are better than you, and they are richer than you, you always think that others are so much better than you. You are afraid that your imperfections will be treated as jokes, you think that you are not worthy to be admired.

Sometimes you resist to admit that you are not good enough, you even resist to confront the problems that you have encountered in life, You try to run away from your problems, and you think that running away is the best solution, you just hope that these problems do not even exist.

Sometimes you are so exhausted, you pursue for perfection, you are so strict to yourself to the extent that you want to perform the best in front of everyone, and you consistently remind yourself to hide your weaknesses. You conceal your feelings until you feel so suffocating. You are so tired of life, and you feel that you are not worth being cared for.

Sometimes you care whether your friends are happy or not, you hope that your presence can bring happiness to your friend, but you did not ask yourself whether you are happy or not, and hoping that your friends will care for you as much as you cared for them.

Dear friends, be brave if you want to be happy. Be brave to accept yourself, to embrace your imperfection, to acknowledge all your emotions and feelings, and accept the love you give to yourself. Only when you learn how to accept yourself, you will accept the love and care which is given by your friends and beloved ones.

Live in the presence, and appreciate every blissful moment from the little things in life.

All of us, are worthy, to be happy, and to be loved.

May you all find your own way of being happy.

To all those who feel unloved and not cared for, I love you.

#20: 尊重彼此的差异 / Respect The Differences in Each Other

我一直都相信每个人都是独立的个体，都有自己的特点和对生活的看法，都是与众不同的。当想法不一致的时候，或许我们心里都会有些不解，但是如果我们学会去理解与尊重彼此的差异，我相信我们每个人都可以友好的相处。

比方说，

有些人喜欢看励志的书本，有些人喜欢读关于某个人的自传，有些则爱看漫画，甚至是报纸。那不爱读报纸的人可能会不理解，那些人怎么能一个下午呆在咖啡厅看那么久的报纸啊？！又或者喜欢看漫画的人也可能被人说，“都几岁了还看这种漫画，是时候看些比较有深度的书了！”

有些人觉得女生就应该温柔点，斯文点，也有些人可能会觉得温柔很作，性格比较直率一些会更惹人喜欢。

有些人觉得女生结婚后就留在家做家务顾孩子，但是也会有人觉得女生就该独立，不要为了顾家而放弃工作，而是两者兼顾。

有些人很喜欢旅行，认为多旅行可以开阔自己的视野，见识到这世界的独特之处，但有些人却很爱宅在家里，认为在家里呆着就是很舒服，就是一种享受。

有些人喜欢寻找挑战性高的工作，但还是会有人喜欢朝九晚五，简简单单的生活。

有些人喜欢安静，不太爱发表自己内心所思，可有些人则比较活泼，他们比较乐于表达自己的想法。

读到这里，你或许不知道我要传达的信息是什么，但我想说的是，每个人都是特别的，都和自己不一样，但是这是他们的特点，我们又有什么资格去评判他们的这些特点不好，而自己才是最好的呢？

如果大家学会互相尊重彼此的差异，甚至是去欣赏别人和自己不一样的地方，我们就不会这么轻易的下定论，认为别人不如自己，认为自己很高尚，很了不起。

只有当你学会去尊重彼此的差异，才能算是自我尊重的最高境界。

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I always believe that everyone has their own unique characteristics and views of life. At times when we have different opinions from others, we might not understand why, but if we try to learn to be understanding and respect the differences in each other, I believe that everyone can get along very well.

For example,

Some might love to read motivational books, some loves biography, some favors comic and others might prefer reading newspaper. Those who do not like to read newspaper might not understand, how can a person stay at the cafe to read newspapers for so long?! Or those who love to read comic might be judged by others, "How old already wor still read comic, it's time to read some books which are deeper!"

Some people think that girls should be very gentle and soft, but there are people who treat the girl's gentleness as if they are pretending to be gentle, and they think that girls with a straightforward type of personality will be more lovable.

Some think that married woman should stay at home to deal with house chores and take care of children, however, there are also people who think that woman should be independent and should never give up their career because of their family, instead, they should find a balance between their family and career.

Some people loves travelling a lot, they think that travelling is an opportunity to broaden up their mind and perspectives, and to see the uniqueness of this world. But there are also people who loves to stay at home, they think that it's very comfortable to do so, and it's their way of enjoying life.

Some loves to find jobs which are more challenging, but there are also people who loves those "Nine to five" job, they prefer to live a simple life.

There are people who are very quiet, they don't really like to express their thoughts, but there are also people who are more lively, they tend to express their own opinions and perspectives.

You might not know what message I am trying to convey to you! But by showing you so many examples, what I'm trying to express is that, everyone is special in their own ways and there are so many differences between one another, but this is their characteristics, so who are we to criticize that they are not good enough, and think that you are the best?

If we learn how to respect and admire the differences in each other, we will not be so quick to judge, we won't think that others are not as good as us, we won't see ourselves as a very noble, superior person!

Only when you learn  to respect each other's differences, it can be regarded as the highest level of self-respect.

:)